


Kayla

by Jessikaa



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-11-06
Updated: 2010-11-16
Packaged: 2014-06-21 22:27:14
Rating: M
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,045
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6455518/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2302939/Jessikaa
Summary: There was a time in Brian's childhood when love wasn't an issue for him... There was a time when he was happy to be there to protect someone other than himself... There was a time when Brian had a little sister named Kayla... /Hiatus/





	1. Prologue

**Story Notes:**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Kayla is an irish name = The word _cadhla_ means beautiful and implies "a beauty that only poetry can capture." - .

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

This idea was always in my head so I decided that I would try and see what's going to happen...

Not beta-ed. All the errors are mine!

*_Text* = Thoughts_

Brian's POV

*_I am totally fucked up! Absolutely fucked up! And waste... And high too... And a little lost... Wait, I just got out of the elevator of my building so I should be in front of my door... So, where's the door? There's no fucking light and I'm tired and everything I have already said and so fucking more... Ahah! There, find you bitch! Now, where's my keys? I had them a minute or two ago for the door of the lobby so where are they now? Fucking Anita! She said it was good stuff and I can't even remember where my keys are! Aha! Gottcha! What the fuck were you doing in my pants? I had probably confounded my pocket with the waistband of my jeans... Yeah, that's it, surely it was that. Home sweet home, Brian._*

I make a beeline for the bedroom immediately, beginning to peel off my clothes on the way. Once there I finish to undress and go to the bathroom to relieve myself of the booze non-stop accumulated. When I finished I return to the living room and take the most precious thing here in the loft: Kayla's photo. My beautiful 4-years-old little sister in her tiny white dress, looking up at me instead of the camera with more adoration and love in her eyes than I have ever seen in the eyes of anybody else. _*And I will never see those eyes again...*_

Suddenly I get up and walk, holding the photo tight against my chest, to the bed. I lie down gently and cover me up as if I were cold, as if I were _freezing_even, as if I wasn't really burning inside and I cry... I cry for the ache in my chest even after 10years... I cry for the loss of the only person that have ever make me feel loved and deeply cared about... I cry for all the times I see a little girl with chestnut curly hair walking in the street and I feel my hopes and heart crushed when it's not _my_ eyes that are looking back at me... I cry because she'll never know what it is to grow up... Finally, I cry for the fact that I'll never know what the kidnappers really did with my baby girl...

I cried myself to sleep this night... Like every 23th June. Because today... Today is the anniversary of the day when my life went to hell... Today it's been ten years since my Kayla had been kidnapped. Today it's been ten years and I just can't stand to live like nothing happened. Like she never existed.

The morning after

I woke up with a huge hangover this morning. _*Argh! I feel like dying... What is it with me and the mobid thoughts?* _I look down to the thing I clutch in my hands so tightly my knuckles are white: Kayla's 4th birthday photo. _*She's fucking beautiful...*_ I can't help but notice the similarities of our appearances even then. My eyes, the same coulour of hair, the smiles,... The only difference is that she has always been too smart for her age. Smarter than me back at her age. She grew up too fast and it's no wonder with the family we have. I never told Debbie or Michael that her disparition still affects me. Not even Vic and seriously, if I wanted to talk about her to someone, he would be on the top of my list. Him or a psychologist. No, no psychologist for me. That's just a bunch of crap that someone is very well-paid to tell you and who don't know shit about what their patients are going through.

That's definitively something I'll never do: go to see a psychologist.

**Chapter End Notes:**

_Why, are you sure Brian? __Well... I'm not! =D_

So tell me what you think and if you like it I'll continue my story and if you tell me so I'll just drop it. Love you all **hugs**!


	2. 1: Bad day

I changed the dates in the story and therefor those of the show (not the year) because it was easier for me to work like that. So, here is the dates I choose for all the major events:

-Kayla's birthday = 4th May 1984

-Brian's birthday = 23th June 1971

-Kayla's kidnapping = 23th June 1989

-Gus birthday = 18th November 2000 (he's not born yet and he will be a little in advance 1month)

Chapter 1: Wings of an Angel

Brian's POV

I was wondering if I would ever get past the state of pure agony I found myself in each 23th June. Sometimes I caught me wishing having never met her... And then the guiltiness, the anger, the pain all come together at once and in such force that I usually can't even look myself in a mirror for the rest of the week without feeling disgusted with myself. *_She is the best damn thing that had happened to me in all my fucking life! If it wasn't for her I would have died back then: wether it would have been me who killed myself or old Jack who would have had the best of me when I was a teenager...* _That's why I never celebrate my birthday... Would you like to celebrate yours if it was also the day the most painful you ever lived?

My phone rings, startling me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Kinney." I say.

"Brian? Where are you? Everybody is waiting for you to begin dinner!"

*_Fuck! I forgot they prepared me a fucking birthday party... 29 years old. What a beautiful day to celebrate, don't you think?*_

"I'm on the road, Mickey, something came up!"

"Yeah! I can see what kind of things!" Mickey snaps.

"Not that kind Mickey! I'm coming right up, ok?" I bark and hung up.

I feel emotionnally drained already and I have to go through Deb's dinner... Sometimes I wish I'd be able to sleep for as long as I want and wake up when all the shit as passed. When the only things left are the good ones. But, hey, this is life we're talking about! There's never any rest for long... Today, I'm good so tomorrow will be hell: that's how it works. True, I couldn't imagine a world where everybody would be happy... It would be kinda creepy! But still, at least, it would give me a little time of peace... A rest from all this heartache that never leave me completely alone. I suppose it is the only thing still able to spare me the feeling of loneliness. Yeah, sometimes I cling to that little piece of pain in the background of my mind to be sure I'm not alone, I hold on the memories to be sure I'm not crazy when I think I saw her across the street looking right back at me and, just like in the movies, when a car pass she just disappear. But it's more and more difficult each year to remember her. I'll never forget her eyes of course: we have exactly the same colour; and probably not the colour of her hair either; she looked just like me for that, at a point where you could think she was my daughter not my little sister. But what about her voice? Her smile? Her giggles? How she use to talk to me when I had just receive a beating by the old man, when I was scared or sad?

I think that it's the thing that terrify me the most...because even if it hurts to remember those things at least I'm sure she was really there, she was everything I needed and more and I had manage to protect her correctly for 5years. The most wonderful 5years of my life. Even if it was under Jack's roof! And that's a lot to say considering the uncaring bitch that Joan is and the abusive prick that is Jack: they didn't even cry for her, nor moved a finger to retrieve her. That was at that moment that I simply lost it... I enter in a phase of complete and utter rage. It was like I was blaming everyone and anyone the fact that I had lost Kayla. And that they didn't found her. In fact, that's after this episode that I build the walls around me. It was way too painful to let anybody near me again. There was a piece of myself which was missing. Which _is_ missing. Deb saw it. Vic saw it. Damn, even Michael saw it. Now, they are too use to it to see that it is still there, no, still missing.

And here I am. Deb's door. I was so lost in my thoughts I came here inconsciously.

"You're late, asshole!" Debbie shouts when I open the door.

"Well, hello to you too Deb!" I smirk.

"What's the matter with you kiddo? You look like shit!" she asks, worried.

"Gee, thanks Deb! You always say the most wonderful things to me!"

"That's true Brian... You don't seem real good. Maybe you should go see a doctor or something." Lindsay, always the mother hen, with her 4-months-pregnant-belly;

"I'm fine!" I growl a little more loudly than intended.

"Hey, listen asshole! We're here to wish you a happy birthday, we made the effort to come so act polite at least" Melanie hisses at me.

"I didn't ask for anything and if it bothered you to come you just had to stay home! And don't tell me what to do and not to do!" I yell. I was on edge all week and today is not the day to attack me, seriously. *_Fuck! I need a cigarette!*_

"Oh there, we calm down and eat! It's gonna be cold." Debbie says.

"Whose the fault?" Melanie grumbles and I lost it.

I grab my jacket and literrally fly from the room toward the entrance door. Once there, my hand on the doorknow, I turn just slightly to Deb and whispers "Thanks" and then I left without a second thought. Without a backward glance, I enter the jeep and speed toward the only place that ever make me feel a tiny bit better: the cemetery.

20 minutes later.

I'm sitting in front of the grave that Joan had make made 7years ago when Kayla's case had been classed. After only three fucking years. Another cold case like so many others. Not for me of course. Everytime I come here, I feel... First, worst because my hopes flies from me as soon as I see her name on the cold stone. As soon as I sit in front of it, it's like I die a little more inside. And then, strangely, I feel better because it's like she's not completely gone. You know, because I know she's not really in there, six feet under. It's ironic in a sense: I can talk for hours to a grave but I don't utter more than a few words to my friends. My family.

Kayla Kinney

1983 - 1993

Beloved daughter and sister

*_Beloved daughter... Fucking hypocrites! I was the only one who truly loved her* _I almost choked on my own thoughts.

"I knew you'd be there." a familiar voice whispers behind me.

"I'm always here... Even when not physically here, my deepest thoughts keep her company. _She_ keeps _me _company. Never left me alone in 17years."

"I know... I see it in your eyes. I see it all the time but especially today, each year."

"I should have keep her in my line of sight! I was so preoccupied to get the fuck out of there, I just turned 18, I let her all alone in the garden. I was a bad brother!"

"No! Of course not! You were a goddamn good brother!"

"So, Vic... Tell me WHY she's there?" I scream.

"I don't know... I honestly don't know the exact reason of this tragedy but I do know that it's certainly not your fault!"

"I should have keep her in my line of sight... I should have run faster..." I whispers.

"You couldn't have run faster... The whole street saw you run after the van this day; Debbie, Michael and me included. You couldn't have run faster!"

"I saw her crying and kicking. I heard her screaming my name..." I'm sobbing.

"You couldn't have done anything..." Vic whispers, soothing, a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I need a little time alone, please."

"Sure thing. If you need to talk about it, just call me, I'll be there." he smiles softly before going back to his car.

I watch him leave before returning to Kayla.

"Hey, baby girl..."

While I speak to her, a tought struck me... She would have been 16 the last 4th May.

I talked to her like that for 2 and a half hours before going back to the jeep, and driving to the loft where I spent a restless night.

Until, I hear my cell phone rings.

"Kinney?"

"Mr. Kinney, I'm Carl Horvath, I'm a detective from the PA."

A _detective_? From the Pittsburgh Police's offices?

"Yeah - erh - what happened?"

"We wanted you to know that your little sister's case has been reopened because of new clues and a witness arriving recently... We'd like you to come here as soon as possible, please."

_Wait... Reopened? A witness? New clues? WHAT?_


	3. 2: Hiring a private

Chapter 2: Hiring a private...

4:53 am

I can't believe it. I just can't absorb the fact that the police has find something after 11years... And a witness at that! New clues, ok, I can imagine that (not so easily but, hey, with the new technologies nowadays...). But a _witness_? What? Did they were really investigating in 1989? At the very beginning of the affair it was so damn difficult to even found someone that was willing to say they saw me running after the van... So, a new witness, "_who had given us strong enough proofs to reopenned the case", _said Horvath? And _today? _Well, fuck me if I'm wrong but it sounds to me like a goddamn joke! A very bad joke! In an hour and a half I have to go to the police department so I can be filled on the news with this Carl Horvath I never met before. *Sigh*.

7:30 am

And sure enough, as soon as I walked in the police department at exactly 6:30am, I saw _him._

I can't even explain to myself what I did... It was impulsive, something from deep within me... Well hidden behind years of self-destructing parties destinied to help me forget... It was way stronger than anything I had ever felt before...beside, of course, the past eleven years of pain I had lived.

_Rage!_ Pure rage for this man who was one of the kidnapper. Who was one of the people that transformed my life in a living hell. It was an emotion so intense it blinded me for what seemed like forever and then I saw so _clearly_. A clarity I didn't had for almost twelve years... And I just craked. My mind became undone and all reasons left my body as I ran straight to this man, grabbed him by the colar and pushed him into the wall behind. I couldn't help myself: it was beyond my power. I kicked him once in the balls and pound with my fists on his face. Left, right, right, right, left... Someone tried to stop me but it was useless. I had to deliver myself of these contained feelings I had locked for too long. And then nothing. I just stopped and the persons who were trying to stop me by force for the past fifteen minutes took me away. They placed me in a room where I think they interrogate suspects. There's the usual mirror, just like in all the movies... Pathetic!

So, here I am... Waiting for someone to come and talk to me or whatever the fuck... I don't care anymore! All I want to know is what this fucking bastard told the authorities in order to pass from the statut of "suspect" to the one of "witness"?

The door cracked open at this moment.

"Good morning Mr Kinney."

"..."

"I'm Carl Horvath. I'm the detective who called you this night to let you know of the recents good news we had on your sister's case."

"..."

"You're not very talkative as I see!"

"..." Raised eyebrow.

"Ok! If you want to do this like that, two can play this game."

"..." Sigh.

"..." The man stare at me with intensity and I see that he is serious, and that we can probably, no, _surely_ stay like this for a very long time.

"Ok... I'm just drained of all energy so could we, please, finish with it so I can go home and sleep?"

"No problem, I'll be direct, why did you attacked this man?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, Mr Kinney, I'm not _fucking _kidding you!"

"Is he the _witness _you talked about_?_"

"Well, yes, but I don't see the point of..."

"..." Raised eyebrow.

"You mean, he is one of the kidnappers?"

"Yes... He probably wanted to try and give you informations, thinking I'll never recognized him after all these years..."

"But, wait a minute, you testified you didn't saw anyone-"

"I testified I didn't _clearly_ saw anyone, at least not enough to make a portrait but I said that I would recognize everyone giving they were in front of me. _That'_s what I said!"

"..."

"I want to talk to him..."

"What? Are you insane? Do you really think I would let you and this man in the same room alone for even a minute long?"

"I never said 'alone'."

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no! He could take you to court with the attack you had on him! He is injured and in pain-"

"That's nothing compared to what I felt during those past eleven years!" I whispers menacingly, infamous Kinney glare in full impact.

"Well, erh, no, of course not, erh, ..." He stutters. "O-o-okay! But I'll be with you in the room and you're not to touch him, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Interrogation room number 2:

"Hello, . I'm Detective Carl Horvath and this is-"

"I know who he is, and I don't want him near me!"

I snorts.

"Well, that's not your decision to take so, please, calm down!"

"Calm down? _Calm down_? You're asking me to calm down after this fucking bastard attacked me for no reason?"

I was seriously stretching my patience during his little speech but it was the last straw I could take.

"For _no reason_? You fucking kidnapped my little sister, you son of a bitch! You want me to remind you a little bit of our encounter in the hall?" I was smiling like a mad man and no doubt sounding like one too.

"…" My glare is working in full mode and the rage in my voice is barely contained. The balding guy that was so confident a minute ago now seems like a mouse face to face with the big bad cat… Or should I say panther? Lion? Well, let's say that he is currently looking like he just pissed his that it was obvious that he wasn't going to talk anytime soon, I take the lead:

"Yeah, I thought so! Now, I want to know what happens after I saw you grab my sister's waist to put her in the van."

"I have nothing to tell you!"

"Don't fuck with me! Spit it now or shut it forever… with my help, of course!"

"Did you hear that detective, he menaced me!"

"I didn't hear anything…"

"I'll take you to court if anything happen to me!" Shit, his whinning is almost as bad as Mickey's.

"If anything happen to you, you won't be able to do anything against any of us so, I repeat it for the last time: SPIT IT!"

"O-o-o-okay! Hum… After that she was conducted to an estate in the woods outside of West Virginia… I just know that she was one the _Specials_…"

"One of the 'Specials'?

"Yeah… That's the kids who are the smarter and the most promising, the ones who were going to give us a great amount of money without too much trouble. But, I heard that she wasn't cooperating…"

"So?"

"So, what?"

"What did they do with her?"

"… In general, the ones that aren't cooperating are driven to the mountains…"

I know what he is saying but, I just can't seem to be able to incorporate that information in my brain… It's like a defense mechanism… My body's trying to turn me deaf and numb so I can't feel the emotions coursing through my veins at the moment… So, I don't have to face the reality of the situation… I don't have to acknowledge what the man in front of me is trying to say nor the fact that I know exactly what he is trying to tell me and what it implies for me… For her. Instead, I simply ask, so just like we remove a band-aid, in my mind the pain will be short-lived. How I was wrong!

"And, what happen once there?"

"… The cleaners push them off the cliff or shoot them and bury them in the wood, far away from us of course…" he whispers.

At that moment, for a few seconds, my mind became blank.

"How long has she been there?"

"Something like a year or two… I don't remember exactly."

"And what has she done during this time?"

"She was trained like all the others. Well, all the others Specials."

"What kind of training?"

"I don't know, I was with the most common."

"… I have to go."

The day after.

Today, I didn't go to work, I was too fucking tired of last night.

_Flashback_

"_I need her. Just for a little bit; please?" Me at a church was funny enough for anyone who knew me. But me at a church, begging God to talk to my baby girl for just a few seconds, even. That, that was downright hilarious. When after a little over an hour nothing happened, I drove mercilessly around the city and park after another 30 minutes of roaming the streets. I found myself at the cemetery. What a coincidence! Fucking fucked-up mind!_

_End of flashback_

I passed the night crying my heart out lying next the grave of Kayla… Vic was very distressed when I called him when I woke up at 5 or maybe 6 in the morning. I was freezing and I thought I had pneumonia. He took me to Allegheny General and once my tests were back completely clear, he drove me to the loft and waited that I fall asleep.

When I woke four hours later, I made a call.

"Hello?"

"Are you Ellis Carlson?"

"Who's asking for him?"

"My name's Brian Kinney, I need him for a job."

"I am Ellis Carlson."

"Mr. Carlson, my sister's been killed. I want you to find her corpse and the bastards who did it. Money's no objection… And, if you had to kill harm or even kill them, well, that's not a problem either, whatever the cost is at the end for me. And I don't speak only about money. You heard me? Whatever the cost is!"


	4. 3:and a psychologist!

Chapter 3 _ …and a psychologist?

Ellis' POV

Kinney. That's a name familiar. I heard it before, but where? While searching my mind, I scan my files and sure enough, after a few minutes, I come across a file with the name Kayla Kinney… That would be the girl's body I was hired to find. Good God, the girl was 5…

Even after 22years in this field, I can't suppress the feeling of dread every time I have a case on missing child, and this one was particularly terrifying. The girl was kidnapped in broad daylight, just in front of the house on the lawn, a few seconds before her big brother went out running after the kidnappers'van all along the street and only two persons of the same family, living in the same house, testified that they heard Kayla's and her brother's screams and saw him that day doing just that (running and screaming after the van). One house. On the entire street. Just. One. House! Can you believe it?

Well, at first, I didn't. I walked up and down this street, knocking to all doors and asking questions as simple as "Do you know your neighbors? The ones who are right in front of your house?" to people I knew for sure that the answer to both questions was 'yes'. Believe me or not, but none of them respond in the affirmative to either… That's how I knew there was more to this family than meets the eyes.

But I wasn't exactly important; I was just a common policeman like all the others at the time but after that, thanks to this wake up case, I became a private. The kind very private. The kind whose name spreads by word of mouth, you know. And, after what Kinney said, I'm sure he intends to make good use of all my skills…

?'s POV

Love. Love is what made me live so damn long, healthy and much stronger than anyone when others would have simply cracked. It still amazes me that a simple 4-letters word can have so many meanings and levels of intensity… There's friendly-love and family-love, there's the kind of crush-love and the love that transcend death itself… And that's simply random examples!

There's so many kinds of love I'm sure nobody can see them all (except if your immortal, or psychic, or God). There's forbidden loves… Homosexuality has always been an issue in this world but I never understood why. Did you know that it was considered a mental illness until mid-nineties? Incest… That's also a forbidden love but this one I understand why people are so adamant to forbid it. It's even written in the law as something repressible! Black on white, as clear as the day that follows the night.

But it doesn't mean I don't understand these people either. I'm kind of one of them after all… Well, I mean that the love I have for my brother is way past family-love but I never acted and will never act on it, because it's nothing sexual either… See, as I told you, there's so many levels of love; nobody will ever be able to see them all or understand the complexity of most of them.

When I was little there was a very kind and loud lady who lived across the street, directly in front of our house… She used to take me and my brother in when Dad had a fit and needed to punch something (hopefully, not us!). So, B would take me in his arms and we would cross the street; once safe, the lady would give us something to eat and sometimes even cookies or sweets like that, and then B and the lady's son would go up and read comic books (me, in front of the TV) until it was time to go to bed.

Every times she took us in, she never said a word when B tucked me in and slide behind me, spooning me, cuddling on the sofa until we were both comfortable, sometimes singing an old song in Irish about a cat or whatever (I never did understand the words), whispering words of comfort and love. But, and it never failed, once the light was turn off, I would turn and hide my face in his neck, nuzzling softly his cheeks sometimes, and it was my turn to sing and to whisper all sorts of words in his naked chest until I finally fell in a deep and resting sleep with him.

And that's where and how I succeed when most have failed.

I had a more important thing to return to than a simple brother or a loving family (considering MY family, imagine just how hard it would have been for me if, it was all I had, to fight for it…). It's like real love, the one which can conquer all, which can pass whatever obstacles life throw at them, this is also like the love-hatred kind that best-friends have, this is also the family kind of course, and it's obviously the one that would make you take a bullet or any weapons in place of the other. It's all that and so much more! I can't even begin to describe all the nuances in it… Well, it's all that without the sexual part. Of course. Right? Right! But, hey, I was only five the last time I saw him! Oh! I didn't present myself: I'm Kayla Kinney… Maybe you heard talking about him? Anyway, nice to meet you!

Brian's POV

I had a fit at the Diner today… Well, I suppose you can't exactly call it a fit… It was like I snapped out of this world and looked at my body from above… And for what? Emmett called me 'Bri'! He just called me 'Bri' and the look I shot him was far more frightening than any glare I had ever shot anyone before!

I didn't understand myself either until Michael said: "It was the name his little sister called him… That or 'B'… Because she never manages to say Brian correctly, she had a little problem of pronunciation, it was cute…" He said it so softly I had to strain my ear to actually hear it. Almost as if he didn't want to disturb HER.

And for the first time in my life, I accidentally recall moments when Mickey would help Kayla doing everything and anything she asked him, because she had him wrapped around her fingers as everyone else she met. Even the ones she disliked would end up being a friend once she was finished with them. All but our own family that is. Ironic, isn't it? The ones who are supposed to love us hate us and the others seem to be drawn to us like bees to honey…

That's when I decided I needed help. Serious help. So, I passed a few calls and finally, I found the perfect choice. There's a shrink I fucked once… Yeah, perfect choice!


	5. 4: Man! Fate is a bitch sometimes

Chapter 4_Man! Fate is a bitch sometimes…

**Kayla's POV**

Six months ago...

*_I was running, running, running through the forest, slaloming between trees... Jumping the fence aboard the road, I run even faster if that's possible: I'm just a blur, I feel like Superman when high in the sky, flying... Faster, further, stronger, my mind swirling with the only thought of Bri waiting for me under the porch, surveying the street for my return... _

_And, I'm also thinking about the others, probably doing just like me: we had this plan for too long for it to not work but there's always this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that one of them (couldn't be more than one to fail) would be caught and... God! Please, don't let someone be caught again in their trap! _

_While running I assure myself that little Lily is still secure on my back. She is. Good. I catch her hand and kiss it to let her know that everything will be alright. She nuzzles my neck and kisses it to let me know she understood. God, I so totally love her... It's like she's one of my own: my little sister-NO- my __**daughter**__! _

_Poor girl is only four and she's probably the youngest to ever have been there; I'm glad for the first time to have been kidnapped and to have stayed so long because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to protect and take her with me now... _

_But I'm also so sad because to get her, they had to kill her parents! In front of her! You know, she's probably one I could easily take a bullet for... Same for Brian... Now, I will look after her until she doesn't need me anymore. _

_Approaching a city (yeah, I run that fast even with someone on my back, you should have seen my trainings...) I slow down a bit, so I can scan the surroundings to be sure we weren't followed and I didn't noticed, but that's unlikely because I can feel eyes on me from miles away so..._

_Like I said, unlikely. And I'm right because after last quick scan, I don't see anything that could be unsafe for us. I put Lily down and take her hand, while beginning to walk slowly to the city, already forming a plan._

_To-do list:_

_-Take on the surroundings once in the city_

_-Locate important places (hospital, police headquarters…)_

_-Make money (and fast)_

_-Feed Lily_

_-Find a place to stay the night (maybe several days)_

_-Make contacts with the good (or bad, it depends on the point of view) persons_

_-Find Brian and return home..._

_Not necessarily in this order.*_

Today...

My mind is blank as I look around the place I just rented. Interesting. The apartment is quite luxurious and Lily has her own bedroom and all, even if I know that she won't sleep in it because she would be tucked under my arm like always... Again, nothing sexual, I'm not a pedophile, thank you very much!

She just has nightmares that wake her up at every times of the night when she is alone but she told me that, with me, she feels so secure she didn't have one in a long time. So I let her because, sincerely, she could ask me to jump off the roof I would gladly do it within seconds... Everything to keep her happy!

As I run the to-do list I made six months ago in my mind (again), I'm proud to say that all the goals I had fix then are achieved. Well, almost... I still have to go see Brian but I don't remember my own address! It doesn't matter because as I recall the events of my kidnapping in my head, I remember that, this day, Brian was moving out of the house. WE were moving out. So, I'll just have to pull on one of my strings or two in this world and I'll have whatever information I want within hours.

But, I have the feeling that it won't be necessary as I take Lily's hand, lock the door, and lead her toward a friendly dinner in Liberty Avenue I saw earlier during our moving in...

**Brian's POV**

My back is to the door and I look around me for potential tricks. The guys are (again!) chatting about their latest conquest and my mind goes back to the funeral I'm organizing for Kayla... It won't be anytime soon but I want specific things that would be difficult to find at the last minute so I'm making arrangements to have them as soon as I want. After a few seconds of roaming and depressive thoughts, I ask Debbie for my check.

That's when I felt it. A tingling sensation, running up and down my spine. I hear Debbie yelling that she will be coming in a minute after the bell ring above the door. I decide to stay a few minutes more, because, after all, it's Saturday morning and I don't have to be anywhere anytime soon...

I hear a soft almost non-existent voice saying 'Can I take pancakes with syrup?' and then nothing, but the small voice, belonging to an even smaller girl, I see as I turn around, is saying 'Thank you' and I don't know if I didn't hear it or if the teenage girl she is with really didn't say anything.

The little one is apparently very shy because she doesn't look to anyone except the brunette beauty beside her. And did I just thought 'brunette beauty' about a fucking girl? Shit! I'm turning into a fucking lesbian now! I knew I shouldn't spend so much time in the Munchers' house, no matter how much I want to see Gus!

These thoughts are interrupted by Michael saying that visibly I had turn straight since I am looking at this girl for almost 10minutes now. And does the time have to pass so quickly too? Fuck! As soon as the words leave Michael's mouth I turn around to tell him to fuck off, missing the look of the brunette at the counter...

**Kayla's POV**

A beautiful tenor caught my attention as I was munching on an apple slice. As I turn around the man I suppose the voice belong to turn himself toward his friends. Lily is happily digging in her breakfast (pancakes with tons of syrup) and I find myself wondering how she could eat something so damn big and consistent for a girl her height and weight…

I feel like a freak in comparison, with the goddamn diet I always had and will probably always have (established at our arrival in The Camp, I never once transgressed or refused to eat it because it was the only thing we had to eat –twice a day- and we needed the vitamins it brought –we all had our specific diet, and none were the same as the other- with the trainings we had). Habits die hard… And mine was truly something difficult to change!

A voice beside me brings me back to the present where a man is currently trying to scare me with his hateful speech…

"…it's obvious you're not a fag! What the fuck are you doing here? No, seriously and with a fucking kid at that! What the fuck do you want? Show us what a proper catholic family is? Show us how we should be in order not to burn in hell? Hahahahahahahahaha! Come on; get the fuck out of here!"

Visibly he is drunk and new here because everyone is looking at us confused and with a certain disgust -for him or me I don't know…- but still, the man is rambling about how we, hetero, should remain in our own world and not infected them with our lifestyle of fucking 'mnghmnehem' (I didn't understand this one…) and then he puts his hand on Lily's arm as if to dislodge her of her tool and I grab his wrist and tighten my grip really painfully and he drops her arm. I slide from my tool and twist his arm so to put it behind his back and I push him toward the entry, open the door and push him through it with me in tow. As soon as we're out, I turn him around and he drops to his knees with another twist of my wrist on his. I whisper distinctively in his ear:

"You're ridiculously pathetic! I don't care what you think of me and I suggest you got home and sleep your drunken state off… And if you ever (growl) **ever** put a hand on my baby girl again, drunk or not I will fucking make you suffer! Do you understand?" Another growl, a nod from his head and I release him, going back in, sitting like nothing happened beside Lily who is rubbing her arm and that's when I see the beginning of a hand-shape bruise.

I growl really low but loudly and, as I get up to go after the bastard, Lily climbs on my lap and kisses my cheek; I settle down very quickly and put my arms around her, tightening my grip slightly as to not let her slide nor hurt her… The woman at the counter who witnessed everything gets out of her shocked state and says:

"Girl, some balls you have here, that's for sure! I'm sorry for what happened… The breakfast's on the house."

She smiles at me and pinch gently Lily's cheek, cooing, smacks her gum, winked and goes to the table of the tenor with a check…


End file.
